RSS Feed
  1. Irresponsibility

    April 8, 2012 by ephphy

    I am a consumer. I’m a female in my late 20s, with a modest but still higher than the national average wage, with no dependants. Theoretically that means I should have lots of disposable income and generally be a main target of advertisements. But thanks to being a stereotypically naive country girl new to the city in my early to mid 20s, I made some stupid mistakes which means I don’t have as much disposable income as desired. I’m not going to go into great detail, but I have nearly $50,000 NZD in unsecured debt. Yes, that is including my student loan, but still, it’s a scary number to have with bugger all to show for it. While I say I don’t regret what happened, for the lessons they taught me, they’re not things I want to repeat!

    Lately there’s been a little bit in the news here about the government cracking down on loan sharks, with the release of the draft Credit Contracts and Consumer Finance Amendment Bill. It’s proposed purpose is to protect consumers from “irresponsible lenders”.  It will be interesting to see what falls under irresponsible, as what I’m going to rant about shortly constitutes irresponsible in my books.

    I did a Google search of a little thing called pay day loans located here in New Zealand. Without venturing past the first page, I came across eight different websites that claim to be an easy way to get some money to tide you over till pay day. A few of them had identical calculators on the site, and suspiciously looked like the same outfit with different names and colour schemes. Good thing that NZ businesses providing financial services must register as a financial service provider, and all eight displayed their FSP registration number, showing that half of them shared the same number, but with different trading names. Another quick search showed two other pay day loan sites using the same number, all linked back to the one registered company.

    With all these sites, I tried a quick calculation, to borrow $100 to cover me till pay day (Thursday, four days away), and to pay it all back at once.  Here are the results, the first line of samples came from the sites I tried that were independent from the others, and the second line come from the sites that shared the same FSP registration number.

    $106.00, $106.56, $112.00,&  $127.49
    $134.40, $137.07, $145.05, $160.27, $161.62, & $176.28

    What would you do if you asked a mate if you could borrow a hundy for a few days, and they said “Sure, but I’m going to have to ask you to pay an extra $76 to cover the inconvenience.”  Surely you’d think twice about remaining friends, and also think twice about how much you actually need that $100.

    I’m not condoning pay day loans, as their annual interest rate scares me so (500% and higher!), so I’m not going to tell you what the sites were that I used.  But if you really must use a pay day loan, don’t do it hastily, do some research first, not just into what the payments would be, but what the penalties are if you happen to miss.

    Every now and then, I look up these sites when I think I’m running out of cash for the week, but when I see the figures I’m suitably scared to start trying to breed moths in my wallet.  Apart from when the interest gets applied to my loan account, and a bit of stagnation in my unemployed time, my debt total has steadily declined, to the tune of $7500 in 15 months, without huge dedication.  Imagine what I can do when I apply myself to it more fervently!

     

    You can find the FSP register and more information about it at both http://www.fscl.org.nz/index.php and http://www.business.govt.nz/fsp


  2. Fashion Frustrations of your Favourite Fat Female

    March 13, 2012 by ephphy

    Today I was in town for an appointment, and decided to follow it up with a perusal of a few shops for the remainder of my traditional “New Job Outfit”.  I’d checked out a couple of shops yesterday, and purchased a big ticket item considering my lack of money thanks to months of unemployment, a lovely teal-like colour cowl neck top, from City Chic.  I was in need of a new handbag too, so my aim was to get the outfit covered in less and $100.  The best suited handbag I found was $30 (down from $95), the cowl neck top was $50, so that left $20 left to find a singlet to go under the top to make it a bit more safe for work!  So off to Farmers to scour the sales racks.

    Now, the sales assistant at City Chic suggested just a black singlet under the teal would be good, but I like to be, well, not quite so boring.  I was looking for bright colours to show a wee teasing peek of, and came away with a bright yellow, orange, a pinky orange (I think melon, but a little darker), and a white.  And yes, for a little more than $20, but they make up more than one outfit!  By a little, I do mean little, the four singlets cost a grand total of $25.  I’ve been told I have a knack for bargain shopping, the tag prices on those singlets totalled $78, so the only thing I got at original value was the teal top.  Thinking about that, I should probably go thrifting again.

    So in Farmers, there was an area of tightly packed racks in the sale area that was probably about the size of the average kitchen.  If the racks were any tighter together, I wouldn’t have been able to navigate them.  Those were the “normal sized ladies” clothes.  The fat sales rack took up about 1/8th the area, and very poorly labelled as being a sales rack.  After my second or third trip to the fitting room, I was hovering near the counter in the hopes of being able to buy what I’d chosen, when I heard the sales assistant ask a customer “What size are you?”.  They were rummaging through the ‘normal’ sales racks.  The customer replied “Large”.  ”Oh, best you look in the big women section then”, and abruptly left the normal racks and directed the customer to the large sale rack.  The customer let her show her, then promptly walked out in disgust.  She was what would be classified as overweight, but she was smaller than me, and I knew for a fact that there were large and extra large items in the normal sales rack in different brands.  In fact? The four singlets I had in my hand were XLs that I’d picked out from the normal sizes section, not to mention they fit me better than the XLs on the fat rack.  For some reason, the XL tops in the fat section wouldn’t fit over my hips, but the XLs in the skinny section did!

    Lets not forget that the stuff on the large sales racks were pretty disgusting.  Just because I’m fat and have limited options when it comes to cheap (read less than $70 a piece) clothing, it doesn’t mean I want to wear satin look polka dot pants and matching top, let alone in public!  And I hate this seemingly perpetual trend of fat clothes being in ghastly abstract prints, with so many colours in them in the hopes one fits your personal colour pallet.  Abstract prints with two or three ‘solid’ colours are okay, but more than three, and a ‘blendy’ look to them aren’t my thing.  There seems to be a theory out there that says a solid colour on a fat woman makes her look, well, more solid.  But in my opinion, it’s whether the solid colour is within the wearer’s colour pallet.  I know for a fact that if I wear a black top, I can often look drained and ill, but any kind of bright colour completely roses me up – this includes blues, purples, pinks, yellows, reds, and oranges.  I can also pull off certain shades of green, though I have no idea why!  This is partly why I enjoyed the 2011 colour blocking trend, I could buy pants that weren’t black, and orange was back in the stores!  I didn’t go so far to buy those bright blue pants though, mainly because I didn’t have the shoes to really make them shine.  I’ve been pretty successful at culling that addiction in the last year thank you very much!

    If by chance you happen to be a bigger gal, searching the internet in hopes of finding the go-to advice of what you can wear to look great, my advice is to wear what makes you feel good, things that give you the confidence to basically not care what others think.  I learnt by going shopping with someone I trusted to give me honest advice – especially if it’s a store new to me.  Don’t listen to that advice that says “don’t wear bright colours” if you like and feel good in bright colours like I do.

    First day of work outfit

    First day of work outfit - ish


  3. Words I Try To Live By

    March 12, 2012 by ephphy

    The next prompt from kikki.k in my journaling endeavour is to record a favourite inspirational quote.

    Now, I don’t particularly have a favourite quote, and none particularly inspirational, but there are a lot of words by this one man in particular that rings very true to my own ideals and virtues.  That man is Ralph Waldo Emerson.  The quote that brought him to my attention is:

    Nature is full of freaks, and now puts an old head on young shoulders, and then takes a young heart heating under fourscore winters.

    I stumbled upon it when I was looking for a quote about freaks, as a comeback of sorts for the next time I was called one.  Since then, I’ve happily accepted being called one.  Following is a small collection of some of the things Emerson has said that I identify with.

    No man acquires property without acquiring with it a little arithmetic also.

    Being a lover of numbers, and also having a negative net worth, there is math going through my brain every time I take out my card to swipe.  Even when I’m gifted things, I try to figure out it’s worth to me, whether I’ll get a lot of wear out of it, or how often I might use it.

    A man’s library is a sort of harem.

    I love my books, I love being surrounded by them, and they’re all mine to enjoy.  A good book is like sex for the imagination, but like beauty, good books are in the eye of the beholder.

    I do then with my friends as I do with my books. I would have them where I can find them, but I seldom use them.

    In saying that I love my books, and as you probably guessed from a previous post, I don’t read them nearly enough.  As for friends, some people would say I’m not a good one.  I’m not too grand at communication and keeping up with them, it comes from being a loner who loves to become engrossed in making do by myself more often than not.  I’m not trying to make excuses, I accept that as a part of me and if my friends don’t, then what kind of friends are they?

    I didn’t find my friends; the good Lord gave them to me.

    Because of my natural proclivity to avoid people, it is natural for me to believe I was blessed with them rather than finding them.

    In every man there is something wherein I may learn of him, and in that I am his pupil.

    I am a great believer that we learn a little from every thing we come into contact with.  Some things exude more knowledge than others, and others still merely reflect what is within us that we haven’t yet realised.

    The people are to be taken in small doses.

    I suppose this links back to my being a loner and enjoying my own company best most of the time.  I have been known to have a short fuse with people who have different ideals than my own.  I don’t mean that to sound like I’m ignorant or greatly prejudicial or anything like that, but more along the lines of if I have differing opinions to someone else and we’re not reaching an agreement (even if it’s to disagree), I’m going to not want to be anywhere near them because of that negative energy.  Also without sounding too wishy-washy, many people give off more negative energy than they think they are, including myself.  Thus, people in my opinion, are best in small doses.

    I suffer whenever I see that common sight of a parent or senior imposing his opinion and way of thinking and being on a young soul to which they are totally unfit. Cannot we let people be themselves, and enjoy life in their own way? You are trying to make that man another you. One’s enough.

    I think this is fairly self-explanatory.  I had something in a similar sense happen on the train today as some of you may have picked up on my Twitter.  There was a voice over announcing what the next stop was, which happened to be a Māori place name with as far as I can tell correct pronunciation.  Now I wont say I’m an expert in Māori pronunciations, but I have had several years learning te reo, including some full immersion.  Anyway, a child a few seats away mimics the stop, exactly as the voice over had it, and his mother promptly told him he was saying it wrong and completely butchered the pronunciation.  This sort of thing irks me, even without the cultural squishing going on.

    Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life’s cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you have only an extemporaneous half possession.

    Running on from the previous in a sense, be yourself and not someone else, you can’t do them justice as well as the justice you can do being you.

    Whenever you are sincerely pleased you are nourished.

    Happiness is food for the soul.   Nourish yourself and help those around you to do the same.  Like The Sunscreen Song states to do one thing every day that scares you, I rather that we all do one thing every day that pleases ourselves.  Pleasure and happiness are often contagious.  Smiles are free, not even McDonald’s charges for them, but they bring so much sunshine into our world.

    Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

    The end of the day is that, the end of the day.  Relationship advice columnists say don’t go to bed angry at your partner, I say don’t go to bed angry at yourself, or feeling any other negative emotion as a result of you feeling you mucked up.  I used to be told to say my prayers before I went to bed, now I’m a big grown up I say my “I forgive you’s”.  99% of the time I’m forgiving myself, because tomorrow is another day, the next step in the journey that is our life, there is no point in spending too much time wrapped up in the bad and learn to make the best of the good!


  4. Saddened

    March 11, 2012 by ephphy

    I just stumbled upon the blog of a 16 year old trying to lose weight because she’s ashamed of herself, and what others think of her.  She’s nearly 6 feet tall, and the current weight listed on her blog is around about 70kg. That’s pretty much smack bang in the middle of the ideal BMI range (for those who believe in that), and in my eyes would likely be a little skinny.  The ideal woman should have Marilyn Monroe-esque curves like we used to worship, but her pages of ‘thinspo’¹ pictures are full of women who look on the verge of anorexia, only one or two of them have any muscle definition, and I feel like if I were to tap one of them on the shoulder unexpectedly, she’d shatter into millions of pieces, they all look so frail and unhealthy.

    If I thought that was bad, her ultimate goal weight is 50kg.  That puts her BMI in the anorexic range.  Oh, she’s had an eating disorder before, but she’s got that under control now.  I can’t help but think “Yeah right”.  For comparison, this fish is about 50kg.

    A 50kg fish

    Or think of this if you can.  Take Madonna, who is about 50kg when she in tour-shape, then add another six inches to her height, but maintaining her weight, so you’re basically stretching what little meat there is on those bones an extra figurative mile.  She basically wants to be thinner than Nicole Kidman who is of a similar height.

    What happened in this world that this occurs regularly in our young? Why have these skinny celebrities become their role models?  There should be more role models that have a bit of flesh a la Christina Hendricks (the gorgeous Joan in Mad Men), and more of the Amber Riley (Mercedes in Glee) type weight loss stories to motivate them, who claims she decided to get healthy instead of get skinny, which has resulted in a drop in a couple of dress sizes and looking great to boot.

    For more beautiful curvy women of today, I found a great collection at I Will Not Diet.  Author and blogger Molly McCaffrey has collated a wonderful Gallery of  Gorgeous Women.  This could quite possibly be my definitive ultimate thinspo.  I only wish more young women and teens of today held the same thought.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    ¹ Thinspo is an abbreviation of thinspiration, a portmanteau of thin and inspiration.  Images and videos generally considered as thinspiration are sadly most often linked to the pro-anorexia movement.


  5. Hopes and Dreams, New Directions and Reflections

    March 11, 2012 by ephphy

    When I first acquired this domain name, I intended it to be a place for me to write of the trials and tribulations, struggles and successes of losing weight and becoming a winner in my own eyes, if no one else.  Trying to concentrate solely on that facet of my life (the losing weight that is) clearly doesn’t work because I didn’t keep up with the blogging, nor the weight loss.

    This year, I have decided to take a different approach.  In the agricultural world, thinning is a term used to mean the removal of some plants or parts thereof to make room for others to grow.  I’m going to use it in the sense of trimming my life of some of the negative or unnecessary things to allow other parts of me to thrive.

    Using some guidance from kikki-K, I’m going to try this blogging thing once again.

    The first journaling prompt from kikki-K states to write down all your dreams and hopes for the year.  I like that, not goals, but hopes.  Goals put a little too much pressure on things sometimes.  Some of my hopes for 2012 are:

    • To read more books than last year.  I’ve forgotten how good it is to get lost in a good book, and remove my eyes from the glare of the computer screen.
    • To be more creative.  This extends to so many different things, from writing to cooking, to getting back into making earrings and maybe give other types of jewellery a go.
    • To lose some weight, but more than that, I hope to get active again.
    • To be able to pay a little more than my minimum loan payments this year, and cut out some of that unnecessary spending!
    • To shed some of the physical clutter about the place.

     

    I dream that we can move to a bigger home, so that I can have a quiet space that isn’t the bedroom, whether that be another rental or a home we’ve bought.  Of course, I secretly hope it’s our own, I am realistic enough to realise that probably wont happen till next year at the earliest.  But my starting a new job in the next few weeks is another step closer to realising this.

    Yes! Finally after being unemployed since the end of October, I have a job in my future.  The semi-depression made it a bit hard to look, so I’m glad I found one.  I’m going to have some very long days because of the commute, but I’ll hopefully get out of this funk with the changes to my schedule.  No more staying up till midnight, and not being able to get to sleep till 4am so staying in bed till 10 or 11am, I’ll be up at 5am and on my way before 6am.  I miss being the morning person I naturally am, I just love how vacant and pristine a suburban neighbourhood can be at that hour.

    So yes, you can definitely say I’m looking forward to starting anew.


  6. Please release me!

    January 4, 2012 by ephphy

    Release me from the year that was 2011. It wasn’t the best year lately, for instance:
    • I was a hugely emotional cry-baby on my birthday in February.
    • Late February I spent waiting worryingly for word from semi-estranged friends who lived in Christchurch (NZ) after the fatal earthquake. Thankfully everyone I know survived.
    • Almost from March onwards, had to deal with a fairly volatile work situation, culminating in the closure of the office I worked in and being made redundant in October.
    • Having knowledge of the impending closure added stress to a co-worker who had other external stresses to deal with, which all but turned that person into a “Wicked wielder of words that wound”. Sharing an office with them made me catch the brunt of it.
    • These added up to being pretty darn exhausted come early November, right when I should’ve been pounding the streets looking for a replacement job, I as good as got depressed.
    • Being depressed kept me at home and out of the gym, so I put on weight, undoing a year of gym work in just two months.

    Good reason to start afresh this year, right?


  7. A bit of Progress

    May 11, 2011 by ephphy

    Yesterday was two years since the day my partner and I met. That means it is almost two years since my doctor put me on Xenical.
    Xenical worked, to a point. I didn’t lose enough weight quick enough, so my doctor took me off it just before Christmas. So much for slow and sure wins the race.  So I look back and see I’ve got six months of weigh ins then blankness till October last year.  Yeah coming off the Xenical made me give up. During the ten months between giving up and joining the gym, I put on the little I lost and then some. Usual story right?
    Since joining the gym, as of today, I’m back to the weight I was the day I was taken off Xenical.
    And I did it drug free.
    I call that a touch of progress.

  8. Lacking

    May 10, 2011 by ephphy

    After spending the weekend trying to relax and put myself in the mindset of learning new philosophies surrounding health and weight loss, Monday didn’t bring the first email of the program that I was expecting.  Instead was one apologizing for the volume of vouchers sold and the fact they hadn’t finished confirming us all to start. It’s the norm I’ve come to expect from businesses that use daily deal sites unfortunately.
    Since then, I’ve put little effort into improvement, citing “my one last week of freedom”. I started the work week off well, intending to work my contracted minimum to make sure I had time for life and study, but today I screwed that by working an extra hour plus. That led to procrastination to the point of complete avoidance of the scheduled assignment question for tonight. I got a bad dinner delivered to work to boot.
    About the only thing I’ve done reasonably well so far this week is walking all routes to and from work. Last night I even put in extra walking home via a friend’s place who I caught up with on the train.
    Here’s to improvement of the week!

  9. Excuses Excuses

    May 8, 2011 by ephphy

    It’s been a long time, over a month, since I last updated here.  I could use all sorts of excuses to explain why not only the blog, but my health quest has gone virtually untouched. It pretty much boils down to the first sentence of my last post, I’m a workaholic.
    At one point during April, I nearly quit my job.  I clash with my office mate immensely sometimes, we just have completely different approaches to work, and when we’re both stretched tight like rubber bands, we unintentionally flick each others weak spots until one of us breaks. For me, I answer quickly and precisely, giving the answer in least possible words, because I’m trying to get my work done than deal with not so urgent questioning, for him he needs the maximum information possible for every little thing. I found out last week that he’s an Aries, and I’ve always clashed terribly with them (not that I put that much faith in horoscopes), but it seems to explain away some things. What kept me from quitting, apart from not having a job to go to, was the fact that he was taking two weeks off and I was getting the chance to prove I can do parts of his job. I’m pretty much over-experienced for my current role, but the volume of it is preventing my gaining extra tasks. So with his absence, I was having to get both my tasks, and his important ones done.
    One day, I felt like I’d taken too much on at once. I was working more than full time, I was studying part time (I was actually not too far away from the status of full time student for a few weeks), and trying to improve my health and well being. I was stretching myself thin, without getting thin, damn it! Add to this, the worst ever head cold I’ve ever had. I still wake up every morning feeling like it’s going to stick around all day, almost a month later.
    When it came to the gym and the altitude simulation, I was only making it to appointments, and nothing extra. I had a goal for April to get to the gym an extra four times apart from personal trainer sessions. I managed to fit in three. And one less personal trainer session in the middle of the worst of the head cold. And you know what?
    I feel like shit.
    And I only have myself to blame. I can’t blame work, I can’t blame school, I can’t blame the cold. I can only blame my reactions to them.
    On Friday, I purchased something off one of those daily deal sites. It was a 3 month program run by a personal trainer as a ‘online Virtual Training program’ type deal. At first I was a bit sceptical because the website looked like one of those fad ones, with e-books and ‘but wait there’s more’ phrases and videos galore, but I took the plunge, because it was way cheaper than normal ($20 vs $250 or something), local to New Zealand, and something a bit different in that there was homework expected, in the sense we have to feed back to the trainer every week. I figured, it’s only $20, and I may actually learn something from it!

  10. What a great start! < /sarcasm>

    March 30, 2011 by ephphy

    So I’m a workaholic.  Most people who know me pick up on this pretty quickly.  I put in some long hours last week, spent a fair bit of work time doing my assignment for one of my courses, so also had to make up that time.  It was my manager’s last few days at work, and on Friday I had a second course start.  So I’m pretty busy at the moment, and unfortunately it’s the gym that’s missing out.
    I’ve pretty much got into a great routine of logging everything I eat into the app on my phone.  After a dismal couple of days around the last posts, Wednesday and Thursday got up to 3.5 and 4.5 stars each, and within 100 calories of the daily goal.  And that’s with going out for farewell dinner on Thursday.  Friday and Saturday sunk down to 0.5 stars (both within 100 calories under goal) which I blame on succumbing to cravings (when the brain was just craving oxygen!) and pretty much too much information crammed into my head over two days of courses.
    Sunday was a 3 hour or so train trip to a brewery, in which I got away with drinking only 1/4 of a beer! I could fool myself and say I didn’t want to force empty calories down my throat, but reality was, I think that brewery’s beer is the pits. If I was dying of thirst and presented with a vessel of their beer, and another of urine and told I could only have one, I’m pretty sure I would take the urine.  Came in 500 calories under, but only 1 star in the goodfullness of what I ate.   Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s a word!
    Monday was ‘recovery day’.  That is, I told work I’d be too hung over to be any good at work, but all I really needed was a decent sleep in after the horrendously long week before.  Got up sometime after midday, so subsequently I’d missed out on half the days eating.  Came in 1200 calories under with 1.5 stars, but also minimal movement, the pedometer either didn’t quite make 1000 steps, or only just.
    By yesterday I’d run out of good for me lunch foods, and was starting to run out of money in my lunch account.  So I called for a grocery shop after work.  But no supplies and little money spells junk food during the working day.  I had a nasty icky yucky pie.  See me trying to convince myself there?  Ended up 900 calories under at 1.5 stars.
    Over this time, I’ve basically been just walking to/from work.  Except when I was working late, that required buses to the train station and rides home at the other end.  I had my personal trainer session as usual last Wednesday, and got told off for doing my cool down exercise (that is, the stationary bike on level 8!) to warm up.  Usually I jump onto the rower to warm up, so then I can get on the bike to stabilise the heart rate.  It went well, and we went through the motions of trying to get me into the gym again during the week.  Last night I intended to walk straight home after getting off the train, as it was starting to get dark, but I ended up meeting up with an old co-worker, and walked her home and continued around the back way home, which extended the 1.4km walk to 2km.  I kicked butt that last .5km though, the speed was closer to 6kph than 5kph!  And you know what it did? It gave me that feeling of “you should get up early and JOG!”.  I still don’t know what I think about that.
    Today’s personal trainer session wasn’t too bad.  I got there a bit early and it was way too hot in the changing room with all the other ladies blow-drying their hair and obsessively straightening it, so with ten minutes to go, I go out and jump on the rower, half heartedly thinking I’d just lax out on there until my trainer turned up.  I ended up doing 1000m, when the most I’d ever done in one sitting was 600m.  I managed it in 4 minutes 40 seconds, at which pace if I was doing 500m would be a lazy row.  I can only just get sub 2 minutes on a 500m row.  From what I can find, the record average pace for female 2000m is 5.118m/s, which would mean more than a sub 2 minute 500m, more like 1m37.6s 500m, maybe something to work towards!!!  I even got about 6 minutes cool down on the bike before the trainer turned up, then we pretty much did 15 minutes of leg press/shoulder row sets, then after tiring the muscles needed, he had me do row/bike intervals for 15 minutes.  I was EXHAUSTED after.
    I also weighed in.  Despite the bad food going in, the calorie deficits/expenditure has done its job.  From last week, I’ve lost 1.9kg this week, but considering I’d put on 2.6kg the week before, it’s better to look at the total loss for March being 1.16kg.  Didn’t quite make my goal of 2kg, but I’m happy with it.  No more big gain weeks like I had would be nice!  Also, on Monday night I got out the tape measure (finally!) and took measurements for input on the body fat percentage apps on my phone.  Taking into consideration those results, coupled with when I joined the gym I was 51.5%, and my scales being 70 something the other week, I’m going to have trouble finding some form of semi accurate home measurement.  I had downloaded 3 apps.  One said I couldn’t possibly have put in the right figures and refused to calculate something for me.  The other two spat out 28.57% and 29%, so pretty much the same.  I just tried the bf% calculator on Dave Draper and got 28.57% too, but just tried this one and got 67%.  Gotta love the massive differences!  I don’t know, is it possible to have converted 20% fat to muscle without much total weight gain?  I don’t think I’ve converted 15% muscle to fat, not while doing what I have.  I guess I just have to try harder in looking for the calipers, for more confusion!